Category Archives: Horror Humor

Shit Happened

Once upon a time I was sweet and innocent. Then, shit happened. First I was bitten by a rabid chipmunk while hiking in the Adirondacks. I couldn’t receive medical attention before the madness swept over me and I started foaming … Continue reading

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When You Wish Upon A Star

When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires Will come to you Don’t buy into this Disney bullshit! I’ve been sitting in my dungeon wishing on a star for an eternity and … Continue reading

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My Roommate the Devil Worshiper

Hey dude, I’m not the kind of person who makes snap judgments about people and the way they look and dress. What do I know about devil worship. Live and let live; that’s my motto. Do unto others, you know, … Continue reading

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What Now My Love

What now my love, now that you’ve left me How can I live through another day Watching my dreams turn into ashes And all my hopes into bits of clay Once I could see, once I could feel Now I’m … Continue reading

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Horror Can Get Ugly 11

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less traveled. Golly gee, was that a big mistake? Look at that mouthful of teeth. It’s sad no one will ever know what happened to me. I doubt … Continue reading

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Horror Can Get Ugly 9

Drew Barrymore said, “Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.” I’ve been waiting  for a lifetime, but I’m still ugly. Children cry when I walk down … Continue reading

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Horror Can Get Ugly 8

Hey, when I was a little girl, I had measles, chickenpox, mumps, all the normal stuff kids get. Then, as a teenager, I had zits all over my face. But whatever I contracted in Molokai by stumbling into an old … Continue reading

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Horror Is A Beautiful Thing 6

What you want is not the same as what I want. You have your desire and passion. I have my chloroform, my needle-nosed pliers, my drill, my scalpel, my nutcracker, my claw hammer, and some nails. I’m ready to rumble. … Continue reading

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