I came here to wish you a very happy birthday. When I woke up this morning, I genuinely loved you more than life itself. I went into the garden to pick a red rose to bring to you. That’s when that giant black widow spider bit me. Now, I suddenly have the overpowering urge to eat your brains.
Does that make me a zombie?
Enjoy more cheap thrills from one of my horror collections by clicking the cover: