Zombie Humor

Zombie Humor
Zombie Humor

Road Kill

What does a zombie do when he sees buzzards feasting on road kill? He shoos them away and sinks his teeth into it, of course.

When do we eat?

The young zombie pleads, “Mom! I’m so hungry, have you chopped up the hobo yet?”

“Keep your head on, son, it’s hard to shamble on one leg on a bloody floor.”

Bar Snacks

What do you do if you’re at a bar and a zombie whispers in your ear? Kiss it goodbye and grab some napkins to stop the bleeding.

What do zombies say

if they see a dog squashed on the highway by an eighteen wheeler?

Responses as they shamble blindly into the highway to shoo away the buzzards:

Waste not,  want not!

I saw it first!

He who hesitates is lost!

If you like horror:

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Anyone who places a review on Amazon.com of one of my books, I will consider one of the kindest and thoughtful people on the planet, and I will hold them in high esteem for all eternity.

About billywellshorror@gmail.com

I have written 171 short stories so far in my quest to exceed Ray Bradbury’s 400 short stories. It goes without saying it will be an uphill climb.

My web site, billywellshorror.com, includes sample stories from all ten horror story collections.

Since reviews are the life’s blood of every author, I would greatly appreciate a review of any of my books on Amazon.com and hold anyone who does in high esteem for all eternity.

Stephen King is my favorite horror writer, and I admire what King has accomplished in the horror genre in terms of movies made from his considerable volume of work.

My Coffeesmoke channel on You Tube has amassed over 2,600,000 hits, mostly from my “Dead Celebrities” videos.

I love movies and had seen over 1,500 by the age of 13 when there was snow on 13 channels after midnight.

My favorite horror movies are Halloween, Night of the Living Dead, and the Evil Dead. My favorite movie of all time Is Frank Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life with James Stewart. My favorite authors are Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, John Sandford, Michael Connelly, Robert B. Parker , Clive Cussler, James Patterson, Jeffery Deaver, Dean Koontz, Edgar Allen Poe, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, James Lee Burke, Richard Matheson, Lee Child, Jack Ketchum& Jack Kilborn/Konrath.

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